"We're putting carpet over it anyway. They'll never know."

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 10/29/2015 at 18:13 • Filed to: Big gulp

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ttyymmnn > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 18:20

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I had a friend who was having a townhouse built. He stopped by the worksite one day and found the workers on the upper floors pissing on the plywood floors. He made the contractor pull it out and replace it. I’m sure they pissed on the new floors, too.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 18:20

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At least it’s not a blood stain.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > ttyymmnn 10/29/2015 at 18:22

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Oh my God I actually wrote out an entire post about people pissing in your homes before they’re sheetrocked!!! But it got a little too intense of a post overall so I shelved it for now...

Yeah folks. If you’re lucky they’ll have at least pissed in your fiberglass tub. And then it sits in there for about 30 days until the plumber gets to deal with it.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 10/29/2015 at 18:24

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Blood? Seen it.

Urine? Seen it, a lot.

Poop? Yes. Even poop.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 18:28

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Oh yeah me too. The worst was when we evicted a squatter out of a condo in Auburn. First we turned off the power. Then the water. It was August. The fridge was full and he kept using the toilet.

McMike > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 18:30

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Please get a sharpie, write on the floor and at least tell them it was a Big Gulp and include the flavor. They’ll get a kick out of it.

Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 18:32

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Could be this....

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 10/29/2015 at 18:33

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Hmm I’m afraid I can’t best that story.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > McMike 10/29/2015 at 18:34

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When I see damaged to sheetrock or finished trim, I sometimes draw frowny faces in pencil.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 18:35

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Being a banker in a down economy you see some stuff.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 10/29/2015 at 18:37

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Hey money-bags, will you please buy the house on my block before well fargo sells it to section 8 housing? We would appreciate it.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 18:41

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pfffffttt. How many pools does it have?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 10/29/2015 at 18:42

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Would you settle for spools of yarn?

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 18:47

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I’ve got some questionable sorts on my block too. I came home to some wankers doing burnouts in the church parking lot across the street in their primer grey Dodge Ram.

smobgirl > Spaceball-Two 10/29/2015 at 18:48

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Yeah, and once you sell it to a developer who is going to demolish it, but before its torn down, I have to go inspect it and deal with the squatters. :( I’ve thrown shoes away after some of those places.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 10/29/2015 at 18:49

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Yeah... Like my dad said, it doesn’t matter where you move: you will always have neighbors.

Spaceball-Two > smobgirl 10/29/2015 at 18:52

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This is why at the end of the year I send my inspectors a nice gift basket full of wine and bleach. But really I treat my inspectors better than most of my staff.

smobgirl > Spaceball-Two 10/29/2015 at 19:07

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That's fantastic! Well, I know I haven't worked for you then, but you're awesome anyway!

TheRealBicycleBuck > Spaceball-Two 10/29/2015 at 19:09

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I went with my wife to assess an old hotel. This was a classic four-story hotel that were tucked into the downtown area in many of the larger town. Cool building.

We found the rooms where at least one squatter was staying. There were jars of piss all over the room he was using as a bathroom. At least he was leaving the building to take a dump.

Spaceball-Two > TheRealBicycleBuck 10/29/2015 at 19:10

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That’s a very courteous squatter.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 19:15

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I went into a house that had had a fire. It was very said to see boxes of xmas decorations melted to the attic floor. The water from the fire hose soaked they the ceiling. After sitting like that the ceiling grew mold and looked like a carpet. Another guy went into a house that had been sitting for a while and the meat had defrosted decomposed and oozed out of the fridge. Another guy found herion bums in a house. They had been using 1 room to shoot up one room to sleep and one room, not the bathroom, to shit

Birddog > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 20:02

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As a Plumber I can verify this. It’s disgusting and unsanitary. I’ve called GCs and told them “You clean it or you get no pipes” before too.

Rico > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 20:20

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The house I live in now had the previous owners stuffing garbage into a hole in the wall of a closet. Including dirty diapers. Fuck is that about?

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > smobgirl 10/29/2015 at 22:29

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Ooooh, what’s your line of work. I’m a real estate appraiser, and have walked through some really strange shit in my day. Hoarders, crack houses, squatters, sketchy owners. Some days, I come home and want to burn my clothes.

XJDano > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/29/2015 at 22:43

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On the flip side of that, I go into a few demo houses to remove the asbestos before they get torn down.

Rule #1: Don’t open the fridge, no matter what. If you need to move it tape it close first.

Although I have found some cool stuff that people leave behind.

A hotel was being demoed, and coworkers found all kinds of shit above the drop ceilings, from dildos, flesh lights, needles, & chairs.

One thing I still have I complete baseball card sets from 89,90,91 still in plastic.

smobgirl > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus 10/29/2015 at 23:01

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Sounds about right! I do ESA inspections for affordable housing. Makes you question humanity sometimes.

smobgirl > XJDano 10/29/2015 at 23:09

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Haha. We were doing asbestos sampling and environmental reports on this historic hotel that had closed almost overnight and was being converted to condos a few decades later. It had, I think, two restaurants operating when it closed. Thankfully someone had emptied the walk-ins but all of the dry goods were still rotting on the shelves.

Also inspected a horseradish factory being turned into apartments. Lots of 40-year-old 55-gallon drums of ingredients still sitting around. And soooooooo many dead rats.

So glad we haven’t had the fridge issues. And no dead bodies yet, although I’d pretty much guarantee we’ll find an OD victim eventually.

XJDano > smobgirl 10/30/2015 at 00:00

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http://fox2now.com/2015/10/15/afr…

This happened this month.

smobgirl > XJDano 10/30/2015 at 09:02

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That's awful :(

Meatcoma > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/30/2015 at 09:03

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Don’t open cabinets or doors that do not need to be opened.

Also, if there is a tear in wallpaper and the house is more than 30 years old... DO NOT RIP IT. My wife learned that the hard way. I was going to reglue it to the sheetrock and then do a light skimcoat over it. I was at the front door talking with the neighbor when I seen her walk over to the rip and just reach up, grab it and pull as I was like NOOOOOOOOOO. I then had to try and remove it which because that damn wallpaper was probably original took me like a week and the sheetrock was destroyed trying to get it off. I ended up skimcoating some joint compound over the entire thing and then texturing it and doing a knockdown on the texture to try and hide it. I was not pleased.... at all.... Also she kept opening cabinet doors and stuff and finding more and more stuff for me to fix. I was like DAMMIT woman! STAHP!